6-22-07
To Street Team Or Not To Street Team? That is the... well, you get where I'm going with this.
Are you a part of a street team? If not, chances are you know someone who is.
Statistics say that 84.3% of the world's population is somehow connected to a street team. Basically, if you're not connected to a street team then you're either living under a rock or in Canada.
Maybe you don't even know what a street team is. Maybe you think you're safe. Maybe you think I'm exaggerating. But it doesn't matter what you know or don't know. The only thing you need to know is:
Street Teams Control the World and They Will Get You
At any given moment, at any given location, there is a girl (aged 13-24) sitting in front of her computer, controlling the fate of your favorite bands, celebrities, and politicians. Vice President Cheney?! Yeah, he has a street team... and they are the biggest group of hardass bastards you will ever meet. If you say no to a flyer, they'll shoot you in the face.
Boyband street teams?! EVEN MORE TERRIFYING. I once met an N Sync street team leader in a dark, dank alley on the outskirts of town, and came back without any pants, money, or memory of JC Chasez's latest album Schizophrenic.
Now, I don't want to give you the impression that all street teams are evil, because that would just be a gross overgeneralization. Like saying Tom always wears a cap. I mean, seriously, we know he takes them off every full moon to make his sacrifice to the Cap Gods.
If you're reading this Tom, take that cap off now. For charity, of course.
Now that's I've plugged the charity, and told you to, you know click on the charity to check out all the cool new stuff on the charity, I can stop talking about the charity, and go onto other things that don't involve the charity.
My point is, I know quite a few people in Tokio Hotel street teams, and they are neither evil nor gun toting right-wingers with nothing left to lose except the upcoming presidential elections. *fingers crossed*
I have friends on TH street teams. I have family. I have significant others.
I am on a TH street team. That's right. I am. And you know what? It feels GOOD. Mindless tasks, BRING THEM ON. I live for the thrill of emailing radio stations and stapling posters to people's retreating, angry backs.
I just hope, that in your heart of hearts, you too can embrace the TH street team. Because if you don't, we'll get you anyway.
And you might as well make this easy and not struggle.
Join us, all the cool kids are doing it: http://www.myspace.com/thdastreetteam!
-Arianne
Reader Mail
Two weeks ago I asked you all to send in stories about how you got into Tokio Hotel. I received a ton of mail from you guys and featured below are my favorite responses.
Name: Razzle
Country: Razzle
Comment: I got into Tokio Hotel... BECAUSE OF YOU, you PREVERT.
*Razzle SMASH*
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Name: Lin-Z
Counry: USA
Comment: How do I begin?! In the Fall of 2005, I hosted a German
exchange student named Clara. Her friend, Janina, was being hosted by my best
friend. My friend and I were in the same play (West Side Story, which I
quit) and we were at rehearsal together. Janina brought her binder. And
that was my fall into the pit of darkness. I had always been quite fond
of feminine males (even at the tender age of seven and it only worsened
as I grew older); it’s a burden I must bear.
When taking a break from the rehearsing process, I looked down at her
binder, which was COVERED in nothing but Bill. I stared for several
minutes until Janina noticed me and asked me about it. I let it slip that
he was cute (yes, I figured out it was a he...experience, my
friends....). Well....Janina literally went into a frenzy. Thankfully, I had to
get back to rehearsal. But the next day, Janina just had to come over to
my house. She spent the entire afternoon telling me about how WONDERFUL
Bill was in broken English.
That night, I asked Clara about Tokio Hotel (which at that time,
because of their heavy accents, I thought was called Tokyota). I’m not sure
I’ve ever heard someone speak so hatefully about something. She told
me nothing but awful things about this band. About how bad their music
was, how they had a contest and picked the prettiest girls...I didn’t
think of Tokio Hotel again for a few months.
It was January 2006 and my exchange student had been gone for several
months. I was sitting at my computer one night, staring at the screen
while IMing my friend. I had just come home from a wonderful German
lesson filled with Schnappi. (If you don’t know that song, you’re
lucky.) So I began searching the internet in German, convinced that there had
to be SOME good German songs out there. While on MTV.de, I remembered
that whole controversy about this....Tokyota thing. So I decided to look
for myself. I couldn’t find Tokyota anywhere, so I just looked at all
the artists that began with the letter ‘T’. Well....I found Tokio
Hotel. I clicked on their name and there Bill was in all of his feminine
glory. I jumped onto Youtube and looked them up. The first video I got
was Rette Mich. I stared in awe of his even more effeminate appearance
and sent the video to my online friend. I once again forgot all about
Tokio Hotel after becoming tired of Rette Mich.
I went to Germany in the Summer of 2006 and only thought of Tokio Hotel
once. And that was when I was in Janina’s room, which had been made
into a Tokio Hotel shrine.
It just so happened, almost exactly a year after I introduced my online
friend to TH, in Winter 2007, my online friend used Rette Mich!Bill as
her avatar. I recognized him as that German singer and asked her about
it. It was like being with Janina all over again. It turns out, she was
obsessed with them. Especially Tom. I was unsure of the whole thing
because my tastes had changed and Rette Mich!Bill just wasn’t femme or
weird enough for me. Well...my friend showed me recent pictures of him
and my heart melted. Mascara, teased hair, manicured nails...And his
voice had matured! I swooned and from that moment on, I haven’t been
able to get away from Tokio Hotel. That’s my TH story!
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Name: Minya
Counry: Australia
Comment: THE STORY OF HOW I GOT INTO TOKIO HOTEL
It was a warm summer's day in Melbourne which is quite uncommon, even in
the summer. I had resorted to wearing my bathing suit - the one with
The Wiggles doing the Hot Potato on it - to survive the heat, but all
attempts were in vain; Mother Nature had other plans that day.
I was perched upon my computer chair, desperately looking to take my
mind off the sweltering hell hole that was my room, and I just so
happened to be checking my LiveJournal FList at the time. I streaked past
entry after entry at lightening speed, as I am wont to do (but don't tell
my FList or they will pelt me with marshmallows and threaten to bundle
me up in satin sheets!!), and a flash of a picture caught my attention.
Slowly, but surely, I scrolled back up to the middle of the page where
the picture was situated and began to feast my eyes on the beauty
before me. There was this gorgeous girl staring back at me, her eyebrows
raised in a look which said "I'm not really a girl, you moron, but I am
still hot, yes" and several other people who, at that time, were
unimportant to me.
My curiosity got the better of me, finally, as I clicked on a link and
was taken to a MySpace page. For months and months this face had been
taunting me, teasing me, enticing me in ways I never knew were possible.
I had resisted as best I possibly could but... no more. If it's fate,
it's fate!
Much to my abundant surprise a male voice began to sing as the
page finished loading, and in German no less! Could this be true?
Was this feminine beauty really not so feminine (biologically,
of course... as far as we know!) after all? Was s/he also German,
despite my previous assumption that s/he was Asian?
My mind boggled as realization after realization hit me like a
marshmallow being thrown by an angry FLister; hard and fast and extra squishy.
Everything I had ever believed to be true, every thought I had had up
until that very point, had been an absolute false. I felt cheated and
dirty.
And I liked it.
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Send in a comment and it might just make next week's column!
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