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              Welcome, friends, to my little space on the web. My name is Arianne and I am a Tokio Hotel fan! I am twenty five years old and I live in Wisconsin, the frozen tundra of the Midwest. My hobbies include: My Little Pony maintenance, challenging Gustav to balloon races around the globe, and amateur botany.

              I am a badass. I like to get things done. Pie charts and the like.
              BAD ASS.

              Previous Columns: 3-20-07 -- 4-13-07-- 4-20-07-- 4-27-07-- 5-4-07-- 6-5-07-- 6-12-07-- 6-22-07-- 7-22-07-- 7-28-07-- 8-25-07-- 10-21-07-- 11-20-07-- 12-10-07-- 12-23-07-- 1-20-07-- 2-4-07-- 2-25-08-- 9-21-08


              Rumors, Groupies, and Vetrinarians, oh my!!
              10/6/08

              So, over the past few weeks or so there has been a crazysexycool and exciting new trend in the Tokio Hotel online community. This fun little trend leads us directly into this week's word!

              Groupies

              Groupies are the sort of people who can complete any of the following statements:
              1. Tom has exactly ____ dreadlocks (in his groin region).

              2. Bill and I began our torrid four day love affair in: A) The vet's office B) Eharmony.com C) My dreams

              3. Line 32 B of the Sexual Intercourse with TH Band Member portion of the contract, hand written by Tobi on the back of a Skittles wrapper, it states that no fangirl under the age of ____ may perform _________ with ________.

              4. How many licks does it take to get the to center of (insert band member and body part here)?

              According to recent Groupie reports, the answers are: 32, A&B, 16/sexual acts with a jar of peanut butter/Georg, and 3.

              Now, whether or not these reports from fangirls worldwide are true, they sure are fun! We've had rumors of a 16 year old dressed in a shiny sequined cocktail dress sleeping with Georg outside a Hot Topic, a pierced babe doing Tom in a hotel room after being lured backstage by Tobi with promises of candy, Bill hooking up with a Vetrinarian assistant, and the twins shacking up with two French models.

              Now, a lot of these claims seem to bring up more questions than they answer. How did Georg manage to sleep with a disco ball? Do the groupie contracts provide for fangirl health insurance and dental? Did piercings get snagged when Tom and his pierced lover went to town? Did Bill cover his eyes and hum Nena tunes during most of coitus?

              And the most pressing question of them all...

              WHY ISN'T GUSTAV GETTING ANY?!?

              Listen, fangirls, I have never been more disappointed in you than I am right now. Disco ball, yeah, I'm talking to you, couldn't you have sashayed on over to Gustav and given him a little sugar? What, isn't he good enough for you? What does GEORG have that GUSTAV doesn't, besides a long luxurious mane of hair brought to you by Herbal Essence?

              French models, couldn't the twins learn to share and leave one of you to Gustav?!

              I don't understand this world. Gustav needs love. And he needs it from random fangirls with low cut tops, questionable piercings, and absolutely no real eyebrows left.

              If no one's going to physically give it to him, can't we at least start a rumor that he did get a little somethin' somethin'? I think we can. We, as fans, owe him and the rest of the band that much. They would be NOTHING and NOWHERE without groupies spreading their tall tales through the internet realm.

              Today, in this very blog, at this very moment, I'm starting a rumor. It's an official THDA Groupie rumor, and it's all for you Gustav.

              omfg guyz... u will never beleive how lucky my best friend's cousin's sister's hairdresser's niece is!!!111!!! she got to do the nasty with gustav shaver from tokio hotel!!!!!!!!!!!!!

              she was liek totally not even a fan or nething! omg she was just buying beer and nachos in st. paul when she bumped into this totally hot guy!!!!!!11!!!1 it was tom. but then she liek totally bumped into GUSTAV! and he told her he liked her cheese hat and she liekt otally said she liked his personality!!!!!!

              tobi took her down to this umarked van by the river and had her sign this contract in her blood, hehehehehhe, and then she got to ttotallyt do it with gustav! my best friend's cousin's sister's hairdresser's niece's daughter in law was totally there when it happened and sh esaw and liek heard the whole thign! it wasn't creepy, tho!

              but she has no picturs or nething. but it happened. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! dkfgjdlfkgjdfkjgkjQkjfvdalkgjdfk DFLGKDFLGKDFLK


              And that's my rumor. Spread it around, I'm sure it'll catch on, it's on par with the rest. ;)

              Send in questions! Next time I'll be answering EVERYTHING you've ever wanted to know! Have questions about your History homework? SEND THEM IN! Want to know how it felt to wrap my meaty arm around Gustav's bod? SEND IT IN!





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