| Are you going to any of the October concerts? | |
| Of course! | |
| Maybe... | |
| I am sitting out this round! | |
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 We all reach those times in our lives in which biology takes over. No matter how hard we try to overcome what is natural for us, it rises to the surface, like an animal in heat rises to catch its mate in the sultry summer seasons. These are the six stages of grief that you may go through when you too realize that you are a Tokio Hotel fan. Recognize them, know them, embrace them; they will be your only friends, you loser.  You're just a normal girl. You probably like Nickelback or something. You don't even know where Germany is on the map. It's right next to Canada, right? Tokio Hotel who? 
Stage 1: Denial  In the beginning Tokio Hotel holds no power over you. "What is this garbage?" you find yourself asking. "And why does the female lead singer sound like a young chap?" First of all, who the hell do you think you are? Stop being pretentious and using words like "chap". Second, you slowly begin to feel the draw of Tokio Hotel. At this stage you are still claiming to only be listening to them to see how bad they are, but anyone who knows these stages can see what's happening. Stage 2: Anger  No! You don't want to like Tokio Hotel! Zimmer 483? Are you fucking shitting me?! Who the hell would name their CD ZIMMER 483?!!  Are you listening to me?! What the hell is going on in this world, that a bunch of PUNK KIDS can get away with naming a CD Zimmer 483?!?! GOD DAMNIT! God damn them all! Stage 3: Bargaining  Listen, you didn't really mean that last bout of anger. So your friends took away the CD from you for awhile. Maybe it's a good thing. But really, it wasn't a big deal. You should have the CD back, shouldn't you? There, offer them $5 to get the CD back. No, they don't trust you anymore. They think you're losing your mind. Hahahahaha! Try offering them your new jacket...or that pair of shoes you just bought...maybe your television...TRY OFFERING YOUR CAR!
Stage 4: Depression  Oh my god, what have you become? You're sitting by yourself in the dark, listening to Tokio Hotel. Your friends have abandoned you in your old car. It's okay, though, I mean, who needs them anyway, right? OH GOD! THEY WERE YOUR LIFE! At least you still have Tokio Hotel. But will you ever really have Tom? Know the feel of his lingering touch? Sense him hovering over you while you sleep? BREATHING ON YOUR FACE IN THAT GENTLE WAY THAT YOU IMAGINE ONLY TOM CAN BREATHE ON YOUR FACE?! OH. MY. GOD.
Stage 5: Acceptance  Slowly you emerge from your bedroom. You call your friends. You are a new person. You are wearing too much eyeliner, but it's okay.  Your friends are glad to see you have your addiction under control. Now just put down the CD, and you guys can go to the movie. Congratulations, you are once again a functioning human being. Stage 6: Death  Unfortunately your friends don't believe you, and have sacrificed you in the name of Good Taste. Listen, you had all of these stages to give up that CD, but would you listen to reason? No, of course not. So there you lie. Calm in death, but God knows probably, somehow, somewhere, still hearing the refrains from Tokio Hotel's latest CD. Your love makes me sick.  |