| Are you going to any of the October concerts? | |
| Of course! | |
| Maybe... | |
| I am sitting out this round! | |
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  Okay, this probably isn’t the best way to start off our THDA relationship together, but…I have a confession. I know last week I said this was going to be a lesson on life-saving phrases…Well, I lied. Some of this lesson is handy in its own way, but really, if you’re coming here for practical, useful German, I can’t help you. I'm just here to make the funny. Now, on to the lesson!  8/04/07  Let’s say you’ve managed to find yourself at a Tokio Hotel concert back in their homeland. You’re outside, ticket clutched all death-grippy in one hand while you guard your place in line with evil glares and sassy posing. Then…you see her. A Crazy Fucking Fangirl, her devotion to Tokio Hotel tattooed across her forehead. Before you can look away in horror, she makes eye contact with you and heads your way. It’s okay, stay calm, we’ll get through this together. “Ach Mein Gott!” She squeals, eyes wild. “Ich Liebe Tokio Hotel soviel!!!” Keep breathing, don’t make any sudden movements. Oh no, she spotted you looking at the tattoo again, misinterpreting your glance for one of interest. “Ich bekam dieses gestern! Mein Eltern sagten Ich war toll.” A twitch of the eye and the CFF stares you down intently. “Welches du meinen?” You’ve got to act quickly, here. Any hesitation could lead to a fit of epic proportions. The cry of a CFF carries, and any other CFF in the area will pick up on it and swarm your way. Smoothly, you reply “Nein nein, jene Angesicht tätowieren ist sehr gesund. Sie wirst lieben es.” (Nine nine, yenah an-gah-sickt tato-wearen ist zair guh-sund. Zee vurst lee-bin ehs.) The crazy momentarily fades, and chipperly the CFF loons on to other fans down the line, returning you safely to your task of standing around trying to look cooler than everyone else. Congratulations, you just survived an encounter with a CFF. Few make it, be proud. The concert comes and goes, and as expected, it’s a huge screaming, sweaty, musical funfest. Tom’s parade of guitars, Georg’s bizarre mating dance with his bass, Bill’s scarecrow-in-a-wind-tunnel dancing, and Gustav’s private time with the audience after the others flounce off stage. You get to see it all. And somehow, as if all that wasn’t enough, you find yourself in a throng of fans backstage waiting for autographs and pictures. Finally, it’s your turn; you get waved up to shake hands with the boys, to pose for pictures, everything. Feisty minx that you are, you decide to tease Bill. Very concerned, you whisper “Bill, vorsehen. Bushido ist bei.” (Bill, vor-zeehen. Bushido ist by.)Try not to laugh at that look of terror on his face, and when Saki gives you that patented Saki glare, do your best to look repentant as you add “Ich bin leidtun, Saki.”(Ich bin lied-tune, Saki.) Despite your shenanigans, they let you greet the other boys. Trying to get back on their good side, you turn to Tom and blurt out “Tom! Samy ist dei besten! Sicherlich.” (Samy ist dye best-n! See-kyer-leek.) Ah, there you go. Back on at least one good side, as Tom eagerly nods and replies “Verdammen richtig!” You notice Gustav looking a little forlorn, and so secretly you say to him while shaking hands, “Ah, Gustav. Trommeln bist mein instrument favorit!” (Trommel-ehn bist mine instrument favorit!) You’ve probably just made his day, although I’m sure the dead carp Tom left back in Gustav’s bed on the tour bus will kill that quickly enough. Still, for the moment, you’ve got two of the boys thinking well of you. Of course, you can’t forget about Georg. That sparkly coif of hair, trying so hard to distract us from his wonky eye, how could you forget? Unfortunately, you catch the smell of peach in the air as he tosses his hair to and fro, preparing for the group picture. Pinching the bridge of your nose quickly, you explain yourself, backing away slowly. “Entschuldigen bitte. Ich habe ein streng Allergie ums Verbesserer.” ( ehn-shool-digen bit-uh. Ich habah Ine strehng allergy ooms vair-besser-aire.) Ouch, so close. Well, two out of four isn’t too bad, ja? The boys either grudgingly or obligingly gather round you for a picture before Jost waves you off for the next girl to take your place. You head out, hearing the familiar squeal of CFFs en mass before the doors close behind you. Now, start working on a story for why Bill and Georg looked so distraught in those pictures when people inevitably start asking. Note, the pronunciation guide is done to the best of my phonetic ability. German is a crazy crazy language, and hard to put into understandable pronouncey form. Phrase List - Nein nein, jene Angesicht tätowieren ist sehr gesund. Sie wirst lieben es.: No, no, that face tattoo is very sane. They will love it. - Bill, vorsehen. Bushido ist bei.: Bill, be careful. Bushido is nearby. - Ich bin leidtun, Saki.: I'm sorry, Saki. - Tom! Samy ist dei besten! Sicherlich.: Tom, Samy is the best! For sure. - Trommeln bist mein instrument favorit!: Drums are my favorite instrument! - Entschuldigen bitte. Ich habe ein streng Allergie ums Verbesserer.: Excuse me please. I have a severe allergy to that conditioner. Bonus Phrase! - Vogelscheuche- in-ein- windet-Tunnel: Scarecrow-in-a-wind-tunnel  
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