Home
Merchandise
Media
Learn German
Band Bios
Evil George
Dear TH
Crosswords
Weekly Word
Games
Extras
About
Ho ho ho! Zat’s right! Not even zee silly so-called “lessons” are safe from my sharp, pointy grasp! I ‘ave read zat it is good to open with jokes. SO, I gift you with a traditional French joke. Q. Why did zee Frenchman cross the road? A. To exact his revenge on an unwitting public! Ho ho ho! Brilliant, no? Ah well, on to zee lesson!  02/03/08 
“Le Stud” Now, for those of you who got past the guards, Obstacle Course of Death, Room of Poisonous Gas, and Shark Pit, gather round. Our lesson today will give you several French phrases, for getting by both in daily life and holding conversations with the Evil French Villain of your choice. “Attention! Cet blaireau!” - (Ah-ten-shyon! Set blare-ho!) “Watch out for that badger!” A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar. A Frenchman followed shortly after and laughed disdainfully at their misfortune. Ha HA! “Je pense que votre crochet est très beau.” - (Zhu pons kuh vote-ruh kro-shay ay tray boh.) “I find hooks very attractive.” This is handy not just around E.F.V.s, but pirates as well. Of course, with pirates you have to worry also about body odor issues, peg legs, scurvy and of course, all that unseemly pillaging. “La mode viendra et ira, mais quand on perd sa main dans un accident terrible avec un blaireau, c'est à jamais.” - (Lah mode vee-on-dra ey ear-ah may kond on peared sah men donz uen ack-see-dont terr-ee-bluh uh-vek uen blare-oh, say ta zha-may.) “Fashions may come and go, but losing one’s hand in a terrible badger-related incident is forever.” A great truth in life. Commit it to memory, children. Also, another joke! Q. How many Frenchman does it take to be superior to you? A. Just me! Ho ho ho! “La vengeance est le mien !” - (Lah ven-jonce ay luh mee-en!) “Vengeance is mine!” You will hear this phrase a lot in France. The French are very much a country of self-perpetuating vengeance cycles. We have honed this craft to perfection, and even I, an immigrant to this country, have managed to excel in the art of vengeance under their tutelage. “Tout mal a des moustaches, mais tous les moustaches n'est pas mal.” - (Too mall ah day moose-tashes, may too lay moose-tashes nay pah mall.) “All evil have mustaches, but not all mustaches are evil.” One of the many philosophies of the French, and a universal truth. "Bushido! Arrêtez-vous d'harasser ces otages inconscients ! ” - (Bushido! Ah-ret-ay-voo darr-ass-say say oh-tah-shiz in-con-shiens!) “Bushido, stop fondling the unconscious hostages.” So you see, mes amis, it is easy to be ze Frenchman such as myself! Just follow my seemple code and you, too, will be MUAH HA HA HA!!! 
PREVIOUS LESSONS - 3/9/07 - 4/27/07 - 6/22/07 - 7/28/07 - 8/4/07 - 8/11/07 - 8/24/07 - 9/27/07 - 11/19/2007 - 12/22/2007 - 01/18/2008 -
|