| Are you going to any of the October concerts? | |
| Of course! | |
| Maybe... | |
| I am sitting out this round! | |
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Bill and Tom Kaulitz were born on September 1st, 1989. However, their story actually starts nine months earlier in the back seat of an old Buick, somewhere in-between a dark parking lot and the back door of a restaurant called "Bill und Tom's". Bill and Tom spent their childhood playing with their mother's old girlhood toys, because there wasn't enough money to buy them anything else. Due to these circumstances, and a disturbing incident that involved a naked Barbie getting too close during bath time, Tom's opinion of women was shaped forever. Bill, on the other hand, has yet to learn the differences between men and women, thanks to Matel's policy of grafting underwear onto Ken dolls. In kindergarten, Bill and Tom's mother finally had shirts made with their names on them, so that she would be able to tell her two boys apart. She told them that she had the shirts made so that children and teachers at school would be able to tell them apart, but Tom figured out her scheme when once, during a laundry mishap, she washed both shirts at the same time and wound up crying in despair in front of the washing machine, which is where Tom found her an hour later. Bill was influenced heavily by the ancient and often confused David Bowie, who still at times believes it's 1987, specifically New Years. Luckily his psychologist catches him before he rings in the New Year by sacrificing a herd of mountain sheep in the Scottish highlands. Bill was not so much influenced by these traits as he was by Bowie's appearance. Looking adorably androgynous is very lucrative. But it chafes. Tom's appearance, on the other hand, was inspired by a very different influence. Once when out with his family he waved at a street thug from the safety of his car seat. In response, the thug sent him a very international gesture. Thinking this was an introduction into a street gang, Tom finally accepted his "new family's" attire, but hasn't yet had the courage to venture out of his backyard. Even to get a haircut. Finally, after teaming up with two guys that aren't important in this biography, they formed the band Devilish. It wasn't until they discovered that there was an island called "Japan", and therefore a city named Tokyo, that they changed their name to Tokio Hotel. Stats
Full Name: Bill Kaulitz-Onassis-TrümperNickname: Wilhelm Birthday: September 1st, 1989 Birth Place: Leipzig, Germany Siblings: That guy with the hat. He's pretty hard to miss. Height: 0.00177 dekameters Weight: 0.053 metric tons Eyes: Brown Hair: Needs a deep conditioning Hobbies: Makeup and wonderment Tattoos: The TH logo on the back of his neck, a star on his lower abdomen, "Property of Island Records" on his left arse cheek. Piercings: Eyebrow, tongue, frontal lobe Pets: Grouser the cat and Grimms the less than talkative barn owl Favorite Class In School: Home Economics Least Favorite Class In School: Lunch Current Favorite Band: Liza Minelli, Peter Frampton, Viggo Mortensen (Live and Unplugged In Concert) Current Favorite Song: "Irreplaceable" Beyonce Favorite Color: Robins egg blue Favorite Movie: "Manos, Hands of Fate" Favorite Food: His mother's approval Favorite Drink: Cosmopolitan, Red Bull, Coca Cola Dislikes: Insects, Spiders, Nature, Oxygen, Chlorophyll, anyone from the tiny Island nation of Tuvalu. Apox on thee! Characteristics: Sleepy, Dopey, Grumpy, Doc, Happy, Sneezy, and Bashful. Oh, and he's not a morning person. Idols: You. That's right, all of you make his world go 'round. Wishes: Fun, freedom, and Cheetos that don't get all over your hands when you eat them. Damnit. Motto: "Dedicate your youthful energies to the construction of the civilization of peace." 
Full Name: Tom KaulitzNickname: Thor Birthday: September 1st, 1989 Birth Place: Leipzig, Germany Siblings: Younger sister, Bill Height: 0.00174 dekameters Weight: 5.927954278e+31 electron Eyes: Brown. Hair: Yeah, something may have died in there. You know, under the hat. Hobbies: Leaning casually Piercings: Lip Pets: Grouser the cat and Grimms the less than talkative barn owl Favorite Class In School: Recess Least Favorite Class In School: The one with numbers and letters. Current Favorite Band: Snoop Dogg, Luciano Pavarotti, Samy 'Carface' Deluxe Current Favorite Song: "Bella Nice Che d'Amore" Luciano Pavarotti Favorite Color: Colors are for girls and he loves the whole crayon box. Favorite Movie: "The English Patient" Favorite Food: Personal pan pizzas Favorite Drink: Coors Light Dislikes: The fact that his dreadlocks take two fucking days to dry. Characteristics: Smarmy, wiry, and aerodynamic. Idols: None Wishes: that Bill would stop backwashing into his Red Bull all the time. And jelly donuts. Lots of them. Oh, and two chicks at once. Get it while you can. Motto: "You shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house and if you got a glass jaw, you should watch yo mouth: cause I'll break yo face." 
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